And Yet Another Book Closes.........

I have always classified my life as a summary of books being read and then closed and either being put on my shelf or simply giving them away for someone else to read and learn from.....and this is yet another romantic/tragedy novel....story of my life lol....i think i have more of those than any other genre! so i mentioned in a previous blog titled, "Putting back the Pieces of My Heart", a man who was actually doing that at one point, and he was everything i had said he was, However things changed as do people....and this is life right? I mean how many of us said "we're going to be 2gether forever" or "omg they are the one" and are u with that person now? No your not, because we never know what Life is going to throw at us or what direction God may want us to take. Everyday more and more im having these "AHA! moments"....it usually happens when im feeling down......or its just a low day(anti-depressants not working too good).......Today i had a low day.....i was just kinda sad all day and i didnt even know why! and the thing was i was laughing and shit with my sister but i was still sad! I hate that feeling!.....So anyway i have the "where is your life going""you need to make decisions" talk with my family and i just kinda got upset for whatever reason....came to my room and just started balling! i mean i was crying so hard i had to gasp for air! And in a moment of weakness i text Brandon(the ex i spoke of in "Putting back the Pieces of My Heart" and "Toxic") and i asked him to pls call me because i really needed someone to talk to, he was my best friend at one point and i told him everything! and i just wanted someone to talk to i could care less if he wanted me romantically or not i just needed an ear on the other side of the phone, and of someone who really knew me, the way he did........Of course he didnt answer and i laid there crying some more just to kinda get it all out and i decided to go on facebook and unblock him and send him a message(A terrible relapse of judgement on my par!!!) So i see several things he wrote about me and several videos he put up about me and i lost it!!! LOL no seriously i was fuming!!! i started writing a message to him and i was cursing something terrible! i mean i was calling him every name under the sun and it was F this and F that and then i caught myself, rather God pulled me by shirt shook me up and said " GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!"..... and i did .......i sat there and just kinda stared at the screen and everything i had said and i was like ewwl? really ? like why am i speaking like that A and B Him nor anyone for that matter, is worth u losing urself over like that! Its like when this stupid girl at work betray me in every way possible and i was ready to go to work vaselined up and rock her shit! LOL i restrained thankfully, as my mom said "Is she really worth it? Is she worth losing ur job, getting arrested and ruining ur future over?" and i stopped and i let the anger simmer down and it was like wow no this 18 yr old little girl is not worth it!! Again an "AHA! moment"........So once i thought about all of this i took a step back, took a deep breath, hit backspace, and started over..................and of course he replied arrogantly and assholish lol and it was like you see what jerks people can be? Even when someone is trying to be Honest with them!....So here i am reading the beginning of the book over and over again and he's been done with the book, threw it in the trash and is currently reading a new one.......and im still reading it because???? Yes its def time to LET IT GO and that last message was the stamp!.........frankly i am in nor want to be any condition for a new relationship! I think ive had plenty for this year.....Maybe next yr who knows! but for right now its time to close the book and give it away, i cant keep putting off reading the last page, and i cant stick it on the shelf either because then i think i can keep coming and picking it up again.....no its time to read that last page and get rid of the book! I cant be afraid to read those final words.......Because no matter how many times you revisit one of your favorite books the ending never changes...............So "Brandon book" thanks for the laughs, the cries, the happy times and the sad, thanks for cheering me up, making me mad....the good, the bad, and thanks for making me once smile.......You were a Good book while it lasted............Ok people this goes for all of you out there who need to close the book and get rid of it!............. Read the last page now and close it........................................................