Friends.....Do They really exist?????
My mom always told me to be careful who i befriend...she said she had so many "friends" who were never really there when it counted......i didn't believe her...i thought friends were everything...friends were ur family away from the real family u were dealt....as i got older i slowly began to see what it was my mom spoke about....little incidents occurred that you would think would have made me want to push friends away instead i yearned for friends it was a necessity to have friends..i thought it was just one bad friend another good one will come along right?........i was wrong.......i had drama beyond drama through middle school and some of those "friends" came to high school with me and it was the same bullshit.......i will not be an innocent and say i didn't have my share of drama because the Lord knows i did...i talked shit about people just as much the next girl....i had a temper i flew off the handle for no reason...yes i can admit all of this now as an adult and a christian woman...But at the time was just like everyone i was never wrong and no one could tell me anything......i had friends backstabbing me on a regular basis....i had friends who if saw me getting jumped wouldn't jump in for me.....friends who the minute they found out i wasn't a virgin assumed i was a slut doing every tom, dick and harry and therefore couldnt be associated with me.....friends who found out i wasnt as rich as them and felt they were too good for me....friends who the min i put weight on i became to fat for them to hang out with.....friends who found out i was friends wit sum1 they didnt like so i was cut off.......i mean and notice as i say all of these things i say "friends" these people were not my friends...they never were...and suddenly my moms words came creeping into my head...."theres no such thing as a friend" and it was starting to become apparent.....when i was kicked out of catholic school and had to go to Christopher Columbus....so many people that claimed to be my friends shut me out...i was a public school girl now therefore i was not in the circle anymore.....i have about 8 friends that until this day look for me and still speak to me....and they know who they are.....i went through some hard times and i would go through my phone looking for someone to call anyone someone and either i got voice mail or i knew i would never call them...like why did i even have their name in my phone book?? why was i looking for these people on facebook? they didnt look for me?....and now that we're friends they still dont talk to me so why the hell do i have them on my friends???? is this a friend contest......do people just want to see where people have gone in life? r they losers or successful? i know sometimes thats all i look for sometimes.........it was a perfect example when my bday came around.....the people who wished me a happy bday and the people that didnt....the ones that said happy bday to when it was their day....and then last night i through a party at a club for my 21st bday and so many people i once thought id spend my 21st with didnt even show up...or didnt even bother saying why they didnt show up....yet these are my "friends" Some had legit reasons for not being there and that was cool....but others? the ones that didnt even care enough to call or text me a lie?....Last night i had an epiphany....as i was dancing and having fun with those who did show up it was a realization of who really mattered and that facebook....myspace....aim...twitter and any other stupid social website dosent define "how many friends" you have.....the ones who show up when it matters....now those r ur friends......the friends u dont see for a yr but come just that 1 day u really needed them.....the friends u never speak to u but r the phonecall that makes u feel better when ur down and out......the friend that u never hang out with but take u in when u have no where else to go.......thats a friend......question is am i a REAL friend and ARE YOU????????????????
So fucking true. You keep it real mantha. ima miss yall when yall leave thursday:(.
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